Even though my girls are still very young we all know time goes so fast. Before i know it they will be in Secondary school and the one thing i am so worried about is for them to get bullied or even being the bully. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
When i started Secondary school i felt so nervous. From my previous Primary school there was only 7 of us in the class and 5 or 6 of us went to the same Secondary school. We were all put in seperated registration classes which i meant i needed to make new friends. I was a very very shy girl and found it quite difficult to interact with people. I was quite a big girl then too (bigger than i am now) and i do think that is one main reason i found it hard to make friends. However, i started to make friends and for the first 2 years it was hell as there was always arguements with me and a friend and other 'friends' talking behind my back and just being really fake and nasty towards me. I remember crying my heart out to my Dad saying i wanted to move school. Obviously, i was his first child and it was new too him too. I'm glad i stayed and didn't let them people get what they wanted. We started back in Year 9 after Christmas and i had lost ALOT of weight. I went down to a size 10-12 and a weight were i was normal for my age and height. I'd noticed a lot of people's attitude changed towards me. However, that soon changed.
I remember one day i was sitting on the outside benches with my 2 friends and these girls in my year came up to me and told me to move because they wanted to sit there, i told her no and just ignored her. The next thing she had flung her bag at me and shouted something to me. She dragged me off the bench and i got up and tried to hit my bag at her but i missed completley. They all laughed. The next thing i remember i was on the floor getting punched, hair pulled and kicked. They laughed at me. People watched, it was literally one of the worst days of my life. Writting this now is making me have tears in my eyes. I walked to the reception by myself with my hair everywhere and a lot of my hair had been pulled/dragged out too. The Deputy Headmaster came down and spoke to me and he said he will have to listen to her side of the story too. In the end, absoloutley nothing happened. She was not suspended or even detentioned. I was devastated she got away with it.
Another time i remember I was a little late for an R.E lesson so everyone had gone into class already, i can't remember to why i was late however as i was down the corridor this 'boy' about 2 years older than me came close to me and touched me down below. I have never said this to anyone only the headmaster of the school. I remember going into the R.E class and feeling numb. I felt sick. I was in two minds of going to tell the headmaster but in the end I did. I remember going into his massive office and sitting down accross to him and having to repeat the story to him. The 'boy' did get suspended for 3 days.
I had my 4 best friends who sadly I don't see now but the people they were around on our breaks i really really disliked some. There was this one girl who I won't name but she was just plain nasty, calling me names all the time and making fun of me every single nearly but i look back now and I'm thinking why did i get upset about it? She only did that to me because she didn't have such a great life herself.
Forgetting all that, one day i really can't remember how this started but it was in the last 2-3 years of school. These bunch of people at school in the same year as me, a mix of boys and girls they literally made my last few years left of school HELL. I had a couple of slaps here and there, i had them following me down corridors coming up to me face, calling me all kinds of names. They tried to make me feel very small and they did. It even happened outside of school. I would get it over Social Media sites and outside if they saw me in town. I tried to just pretend I was still happy and didn't care but inside I was hurting so much. I cried nearly every single day, I did want to end everything, i started to hurt myself and it got me even more less confident. I hated going to school. I remember it got really bad one day and i pretended I was ill for a couple of days, which was a big mistake because all they did was carry on and worse too. Luckily, it did stop when we left school and moved on to College.
I really don't know how I will cope if one or both of my children get bullied in school. I am really dreading it when and IF it comes to that one day which i am really hoping it won't.