First VS Second

Being a parent to one child is easier than being a parent to multiple children. Having my second daughter changed my life, again. Changed my routine, changed my feelings, changed the way I thought of certain things and just changed pretty much everything. It may not always be like that for everyone though. Everyone goes through different things. I'm going to write to you about my experience of being a mother to one child compared to being a mother of two.

Sleep

1st; Mia started sleep all night from the age of 3 months old. The only way I could get her to sleep was to lie next to her and she would hold my little finger as a comfort and then slide away quietly when she was fast asleep. She slept in bed with me which I stopped when she was around 7 months old. She then woke up between 1am and 3am every night to get into bed with me {which I stupidly allowed}. She stopped waking up in the middle of the night when she was around 2 years old. Luckily, just before Elliw was born. She now sleeps all night through. She goes to bed between 6.30pm and 7pm and wakes up between 7am and 8am.

2nd; Elliw had her first full night sleep at 7 months old. She suffered with Colic for a good few weeks so she would non stop cry {scream} from 10pm until 1am every single night until Colic stopped. She would wake up at least once after for a bottle. After the Colic stopped she would wake up about 2 or 3 times a night. She went around 2 months or so with sleep all night every night but now for the past year or so she has been waking up at least once or twice a night. I get the odd night where she will sleep all night but not often. She will go to bed the same time as Mia but she will wake up between 6am and 7am.

I am really lucky that they both go to bed pretty early for me and they will settle. For over a year Elliw would end up sleeping on the floor and never settle in her bed {of course we would take her back to bed before we went to bed ourselves} But for the past month or so she has been settling straight in her bed! YAY!



Behaviour

1st: Mia's behaviour was just normal. She would have her odd tantrums. She hated going into the pram and I would really struggle getting her in but she wasn't old enough to walk properly or far as at the time I used to walk to town most days {when I was off work}. At one point after Elliw was born Mia went through a horrible stage/phase. Out of nowhere {and most days} she would happily pinch, kick, hit, punch, slap and scream at me. It was really hard. Luckily, it was only a phase and she has not done any of those to me for a long time now. Mia's behaviour hasn't really gotten worse but her attitude, sulks and tantrums have gotten harder to handle. I do say she is Five turning on Fifteen! If she is by herself she is fantastic, although she can talk and talk {sometimes does my head in!} but that is Mia for you!

2nd; Unfortunately at the time when Mia was hitting {battering me!} most days, Elliw was at the stage where she picked up on things. Of course there was a few rows and shouting when Mia was doing it as I just did not know what to do. I didn't know how to stop her {she was so strong}. Elliw went through a very long phase of hitting, punching and kicking me and Mia. She would happily just run over to Mia and push her along with some punches, kicks and hair grabbing. Luckily she has stopped that but not 100% she will still do this sometimes. She still shouts, and will moan at pretty much anything that she wants. We have taught her and changed her a lot with learning her that she can't get everything she wants there and then. She still has her tantrums, obviously! She is a toddler/child at the end of the day right? When she is well behaved then she is VERY well behaved.



Outings

1st; Mia was always the daring little girl. I would put reigns on her when she started to learn to walk. I remember taking her around where I lived at the time so she could learn to walk a bit better {it helped!}. She would happily run off and be a wild child. Once I actually did loose her in a shop. Elliw was pretty young at this stage. My heart was racing. It was so scary. The manager of the shop started looking around and even going out of the shop too look too. Eventually we found her. She was happily hiding under the rail of knickers and bra's! We went to another shop not long after, she happily ran off again! We found her quicker this time though. It was one of the first times I let her walk in town without a pram. Nowm, Mia will listen to me if I tell her to stop but if she is with some friends she does tend to show off {as kids do!}.

2nd; Elliw wouldn't walk on grass or concrete until after 18 months old. She would scream the place down. I remember the first time she did it. Me and her Dad were over the moon and so happy {she had a lot of praise!}. Elliw has run off once but she thought she was playing hide and seek in a shop! Luckily the shop was pretty small and she has never done this again {thank god!}. Elliw is pretty good at holding my hand pretty much everywhere we go! Even if I tell her she can go running somewhere, she would much prefer to hold my hand. So again, I am quite lucky.

Potty/Toilet Training

1st; I started Mia potty training around 2 years old if I remember rightly. She started off ok but then all of a sudden I had to start changing her atleast 8 or 10 times a day. I spend so much money on knickers as I didn't want to go a step back by putting nappies on her. She got referred to a paeditritian for about 6 months then she got put under the Constipation Clinic. She constantly soiled her knickers throughout the day, she still does it now but not half as much as what she used to. She will be on movicol medication for long-term.

2nd; Elliw was pretty easy potty training. In fact she was petrified of the potty so I started her straight on the toilet. Which was pretty hard work because she had always filled her nappy within an hour of a clean nappy so I knew she would be constantly going to the toilet. But she did it. The first time round I think we pushed her to quickly and she wasn't ready. We started last Summer {2014} and there we go! She has been toilet trained ever since. If I remember rightly it only took her a few days to be trained.



Development

1st; Mia's always been pretty clever for her age. I've always been told she was always ahead of her age. She can speak two languages {English & Welsh}. She understood Welsh better but she is slowly starting to understand English better now too. She started walking unsupported 2 weeks after her 1st birthday. She started to count 1 to 3 in welsh at a very early age as she was always with me when I would do her formula and I would always count each scoop to her so I think she learnt it from that. Her language is great for her age, she doesn't stop talking. Her maths and physical development is great for her age too.

2nd; Elliw has always been a little behind with her development. She didn't start walking until around 15 months old and would not step outside until 18 months old. She is only just starting to talk {a little bit}. Although her understanding is great and right for her age, her speech isn't. She is under Speech Therapy and we are learning her more at home too so hopefully soon she will catch up but I am not rushing her.

I do find I have been pretty laid back with the second child. With your first, it's your first little baby. It's all new to you. When your second comes along, don't get me wrong obviously they mean the world to you just as much as your first but honestly, I don't remember when Elliw sat up or rolled over or crawled. I remember rough dates but not exactly when. With your first child your wary about everything they do but your more laid back with the second.

Having two children has also taught me that every child is completely different. To be fair Mia was a very easy baby. Elliw was total opposite! It's mad how different they are even though they are sisters.

Do you have two or more children?

19 comments

  1. Aww your girlies are so cute!!
    I totally agree about the life change each new child brings, I think it has been easier to get my head around things knowing that often they don't last - sleepless nights, colic and tantrums!
    Parenthood is definitely a challenge though :)
    Love your blog - I'm following slimming world from home too, I really needed to read some of your posts today about not being perfectly on plan. I am having an eat everything in sight day!!
    Natalie x

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  2. I thought my second, knowing he was another boy, would be like my oldest but a bit different. After all they come from the same parents right?? How wrong was I. Nothing like each other as yet. They both have their strong points and difficult ones. But like you I felt that I was having to learn a whole new set of things because they were so different.
    I feel for you with the colic. That is so tough.
    Great post. Lovely to read about the differences in your girls. #myfavouritepost

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  3. All three of mine were and still are completely different from each other. My oldest is quiet and a thinker. My middle is very head strong, loud and a go-getter. My youngest does things at a slow step, never in a hurry. #MyFavouritePost

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  4. This is so interesting! I have no kiddos but am excited to see how this all plays out for me someday.

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  5. This is so interesting. I only have to one delightful toddler but am hoping to have a second in the nearish future! It's interesting to see just how different they are in their stages. You have some seriously cute photos there. Gorgeous girlies! Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

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  6. Well that's made my mind up. Think I will stick with just the one (and a half, as I am a step-mummy to a 20+year old)! My sister and I were like chalk and cheese as kids in terms of our behaviour, attitude (I had one and she didn't), development etc but it amazing how similar we are now as adults. #MMWBH

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  7. That's so interesting - I have so many friends who have found their second child is almost the opposite of their first. I've just got the one, so no do-overs for me! #bestandworst

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  8. Oh my gosh this is the truth! My 2 are light night and day...yin and yang!

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  9. My two sons are very different but still loveable affectionate and work well together most of the time. Great post and looking at similaritires and differences X

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  10. this is a great post your girls are beautiful I have three boys my youngest is only five months but I can see how completely different they all are this is a really interesting post great for looking at everything between them!

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  11. Oh gosh. After my first I had the rule book written!! Then my second came along and ate it! Literally. Giving me a run for my money!

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  12. I think there is definitely differences between my 2, my 2nd seems a little more content than my 1st, I'm interested to see the differences or similarities as they grow up :-) Thanks for linking up to the #bestandworst and hope to see you again next week! x

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  13. I think this is fascinating! I'm quite excited to see if I have another they will be like chalk and cheese. We have had the hitting phase and it's awful but you sound very chilled out about it all!! Hope the speech therapy helps a bit. Thanks so much for linking up to #bestandworst and please pop back next time xx

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  14. It is really interesting isn't it? I have four children - in some ways they are exactly the same - but in other ways they are completely different! Thanks for linking up to 'MyFavouritePost Kaz x

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  15. Even though there is an eleven year gap between my two I still remember my first like it was yesterday. I have to say I don't know whether we have grown as parents but our 2nd is so much more chilled than I could ever expected. He is so laid back and so are we. Everything is flowing so much easier. Having said that he is now a 2 year old so that could all change - thanks for linking up to #ToddlersAndTeens

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  16. What a great comparison to do. It just goes to show how different they can be. Hitting is hard isn't it. We have that with my 2nd. Thanks for linking up with #MyFavouritePost

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  17. So true both of mine were different in their routines and how they handled things even if they look almost identical sometimes. Having two it really does show you just because they are siblings they won't be the same both easy or hard... lol Great post. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

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  18. Thinking i might have lucked out with Agent M being such a good baby that it probably a good thing he'll be my only lol #ToddlersandTeens

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  19. My two were so different too. I love how you've compared the two. My youngest always slept well and my eldest who is 5 still struggles, too much energy (like me). Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts

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