Life Just Gets In The Way
Friday, 18 December 2015
Since school I have been the quiet one. The one that doesn't really say anything or doesn't show her personality until you really get to know her. I'm not quite sure why I have always been that type of girl. A part of my thinks its because my Mam didn't want to know me. She didn't want to hear my problems, she didn't want to listen or see me. So why would other people? I've had people make up rumours about me, rumours that were not nice and untrue. I've had someone call me 'boring' and similar things behind my back. I won't show who I truly am until I feel 100% comfortable with someone. It doesn't really bother me that some people find me boring because everyone is boring at times. No one is happy chappy constantly through the day. I am shy. It takes time for me to get comfortable with someone. I can't do anything different. If you don't like me, just go.
Why have I written this? I think it may help me get my 'urge to blog' back again! Get back to writing posts and scheduling them in a months advance. I have learnt a few things the past couple of months though. I am going to stop accepting so many reviews - especially product reviews that I don't really need. It really is getting on top of me at the moment, but also on top of everything else.
There is one thing I can not speak out. Not for a while yet anyway. Another is family. Why do they have to be so damn difficult? It was Mia's birthday not long ago. Did I get a text off my own Mother to wish Mia a happy birthday? Of course not. But Mia doesn't know the difference, she doesn't know she has another Nain/Grandmother because I simply can not call her that. She isn't a mother to me so why should she take up the grandmother name. It does hurt but I am slowly facing up to the fact that she will never be there for me or my family.
Like I mentioned in this post earlier, this all may not seem important or bad at all and I will probably think the same in a few months time but at the moment I am finding it difficult. I do find it hard to get out of bed in the morning. I am finding it hard motivate myself to do things in the house. I am just simply finding things hard at the moment but I know things will get easier. Everything gets easier in the end doesn't it. It's just a phase and I will be fine.