My beautiful girls...
Mammy's sorry for not being able to do some things for you both,
Mammy just feels tired and not herself
But I can promise you that Mammy is trying her very best,
her very best to keep you both happy.
There may be times where Mammy just wants some peace and quiet,
So I don't mean to snap back when all you do is ask for something.
Although it can be quite annoying when it is constant.
Mammy is trying, honest.
Mammy is just struggling a bit right now,
I am still trying to do the things I used to do with you,
I just don't seem to have all that energy right now.
But I do love cuddles from you both.
You may have seen Mammy cry a few times,
the times you come up to me, hold my face and tell me everything is going to be ok.
I believe you because I know one day everything will be fine.
But right now, Mammy just feels a little broken and alone.
I don't like to show my emotions to you both.
I try and hide it because I want you both to think I am strong.
You both look up to me and you both make me so proud.
I just hope one day I make you both proud too.
I look at you both and you make me so proud.
At the moment you two are the only people who are keeping me going.
I am trying. I promise.
Your baby brother will be here in less than 3 months.
I know you're both going to adore him, he's already loved by many.
You two are going to be the best big sisters ever.
Many nights I come and sit on the side of your beds whilst you are both fast asleep.
I just look at you both with tears streaming down wishing I could be a better Mam to you both,
I do feel hopeless. I do feel useless. I wish I had the energy and strength to do more.
I just feel drained right now.
But I promise, I am trying my best and as you've told me before,
"Everything is going to be OK"