5 Things Non-Parents Should Never Say To Parents

If I am honest I can't remember what I used to think about parenting before I fell pregnant with my first. That may be because I was only 16 years old when I fell pregnant but trying to think hard, I can't remember any bad judgement I did to other parents whilst I was pregnant or when my daughter was young.

Being a parent is challenging. We all do it different. There is no child the same and there are no parents who parent their child the same either. We all have different opinions and we all have different ways to parent. I do believe that most of us parents do judge other parents in some of the ways they parent their child and I do think that is just natural but as long as you keep it to yourself - there is no harm.

One thing that really gets to me is how people who have no children think they know everything about parenting. They think they know better than the parent. How is that? I've had a few of these in through my years of being a parent and now those comments go through one ear and out the other.

1. Never Tell a Parent To Control Their Child
When you go out with a child {or more} you never know how they are going to behave. Some days they are good as gold, the next they can be nightmares and others they can be 50/50. No day is the same and sometimes they will just trigger off over the smallest thing ever. If you see a child loosing their temper with their parents, throwing themselves about, screaming, kicking and so on, the last thing you need to say to the parents is to control their child. Never say that. The parents are probably trying their hardest and the last thing they want is some stranger or even friend or family member telling them to control their own child.

2. "When I have a child I will make sure I have bought my own house, married and happy"
Urgh. I have actually had someone say this to me whilst I was pregnant with my second child. It did put me down and no one should ever say this to a parent. Just because someone has bought a house, married and 'happy' doesn't mean that having a baby will make your life 'better'. Having a baby changes everything with money, your home, relationship and financially.

3. Go to sleep when baby is napping
Right. Baby has a nap and us parents have a choice of either napping ourselves, chilling catching up on TV or do some housework. More than likely it will be the chilling or housework with the nap here and there but honestly, parents do not have time to nap every single day we have other things that need doing whilst baby naps too.

4. "Come out tonight!"
Seriously? I have a child. When you're a parent you can't really do last minute plans such as going out on the p*ss. We have to plan babysitting and we may not even get babysitters for a good few weeks! It just doesn't work like that.

5. "You're so lucky you can stay home"
Yes I am lucky to stay home with my children. But it's not all that easy, as you think it is. There is so much a parent needs to do, whether they are stay at home parents or working parents. Things non-parents just won't understand until they have children themselves.

Can you think of anything else that non-parents shouldn't say to us parents?

30 comments

  1. Yep have had all these said to me so can totally relate its so annoying.

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  2. I'm not a parent, but would never dream of saying any of these to someone who is. Everyone's different, and as long as children are happy and healthy, who's anyone else to judge?

    Milly | Mini Adventures

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  3. Ah these are so true - I would add 'when are you having another?' So rude!

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  4. As a non-parent I have nothing to say. :)

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  5. When my son was only a few months old I was once asked - Are you feeding him yourself (in other words are you breastfeeding?) By some woman in a supermarket queue - what a cheek! I've come up with many responses since that I wished I'd said at the time including 'No we just leave bottles around the house for him to help himself to'. #marvmondays

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  6. Guilty of saying them all before I had a child, and then gritting my teeth at them all once I had Joe.

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  7. I could have cheerfully punched all those people who told me to 'sleep when the baby sleeps'. My son never slept unless it was on me. And you can't sleep with the baby on you. So when were they suggesting I sleep?! Not the best thing to say to a severely sleep deprived new mum! I also had a lot of 'Is he a good baby?' ???!!! #marvmondays

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  8. SO true. Ugh, there's someone in our family who actually said to me and my sister-in-law 'we are getting married before WE have a baby!' because we were both pregnant before marriage. Hilariously, she 'fell' pregnant a month or so later, and ended up having another one before getting married. People should never judge! Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

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  9. I think that's just insensitive to say that, I definitely try my hardest never to say that as I know nothing about being a parent.

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  10. Lol it gets me riled and I am not even a parent. How can they expect staying at home to mean that you are doing nothing all day. Babies do not switch off like work, its a 24/7 duty.

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  11. I'm not a parent and I hope I've never said any of these things to friends who are :) X

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  12. Ahhh I have heard all of these, and you are right they are ANNOYING. Especially number 2, that's the way you plan it in your head when you're little. But life just doesn't happen like it does it ^_^

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  13. Even though I am not a parent, I don't think anyone has the right to tell someone to control their child. Some people don't realise how life can adjust once a child comes along x

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  14. I do think some things are hard to understand without having experienced them. I don't think people without children are purposely trying to offend!

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  15. I am not a non-parent so I should be warned with these words. Hahaha. If I am in the parents shoes, I will hate most the line "When I have a child I will make sure I have bought my own house, married and happy"

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  16. It's not easy, is it. Everyone has their own opinions on just about everything and so sometimes things clash. I've had most of these said to me too. Mostly I just curse at them in my head, lol!

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  17. I hate it in general when someone refers to a situation as "lucky". It's usually not luck at all, and takes a lot of sacrifices.

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  18. I can imagine these being the most irritating things to hear! It's often much better to just keep your mouth shut.

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  19. These are so true - people don't realise what they shouldn't say sometimes do they!

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  20. Having seen my sister be a SAHM of twins, absolutely does she now get to sit down with her feet up watching TV all day x

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  21. Agree with all these statements, so easy to make quick judgement but never reall know whats going on behind closed doors X #marvellousMondays

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  22. That is one of my favourites "when I have a child I'll make sure I've bought my own house, got married and done xyz..." What no dog? pipe down sunshine, you never know what lies ahead! Love this post Beth xx

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  23. So true! The last one always bugs me. I am lucky to stay home, but it's not like they imagine it is in their heads. It's far from the image of me chilling on the sofa watching my tv shows with a cocktail in hand.

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  24. I'm not a parent and honestly I've always said to myself that I want to wait until I'm happy in life, regarding career, house etc. But that is me. Things may change in so many years time but other people have different goals in life and want different things! I think what you do is great and it's great because you are doing what you want to do :D

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  25. The sleep when baby is sleeping used to make me chuckle! My daughter had 20 minute naps. I can't even fall asleep in 20 mins. My son naps on the school run and although I am tempted to climb into the pushchair with him I don't think it would be wise. x

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  26. I'm not a parent, although I'm not someone who would comment on another situation anyway. Like for me, I've always wanted to wait until I was married before having a child and I've always wanted to wait until I owned my own property first, purely because for me and my own situation, I would find it really hard to save for a mortgage and a house if I did it the other way round but thats just me :) xxx

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  27. Oh I remember these so well!!! And the other classic.... Oooh you haven't lost that baby weight yet.... Don't even think about saying it!!

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  28. I'm not a parent but no one should ever comment on someone else's situation, you never know unless you're living it yourself. But I can't imagine if I had a kid and someone said nap when they do that I'd be able to drop off for half hour on command ha

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  29. Some people are just so tactless! I can't believe someone said #2 to you!

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