The Little Things
Sunday, 3 July 2016
When I fell pregnant at the age of 16 never did I think that by the age of 23 I'd have two beautiful little girls and pregnant again but this time with a little boy. After finding out I was expecting for the third time, my last baby, I really wanted to enjoy my time more with the girls. Although I have found it hard most weeks to do that, I think we have done a few things with them such as a going on holiday to South Wales for a couple of nights.
When I had my first daughter, Mia, I was a single Mother. I knew from the minute I fell pregnant that I would be a single Mother but never did I think i'd have to do it alone. Luckily her Dad stepped up a bit and started seeing her which I was so glad because I would hate for Mia to have grown up with just one parent in her life and not the other. She is now so lucky to have an amazing step dad in her life too.
Mia is 6 years old now and time has just flown by. Once Mia wouldn't sleep without me in the room. Every single night from the day she was born she held my little finger until it went numb. She held my little finger as comfort for at least 3 years and she just grew out of it which was strange. Even though it really did annoy me most of the time because my fingers would be really numb, I'd love to back to one of the days and nights again.
6 years has flown by. I really can't believe that in 6 months she will 7 years old. It doesn't seem real. I would never have thought that by the age of 24 I'd have a 7 year old daughter. Life sure is full of surprises. Good ones too. Watching Mia grow up from an 8lbs 9oz baby to a healthy 6 year old has been amazing. She's been through so much during her 6 years. She had me as a single Mam, we have moved houses 3 times, she has been a big sister twice and now again, for the first time but will be a big sister to her little brother this time, which she is so excited about.
I love watching Mia play with her toys or role playing as a teacher. She reminds me so much of myself. When I was a child I loved playing with pen and paper and pretending I was a teacher. Now looking at my eldest daughter doing the same thing makes me so happy. It really is strange how you can see your child self in your own child. It's amazing.
The reason for this post is because right now my eldest daughter is abroad without me. She is on holiday in Spain with her Dad, her dad's partner and her other sister. She has been counting down the weeks and days for this holiday and she was super excited. Before she went to her Dad's Thursday evening we decided to take her out to her favourite Chinese restaurant. She loves her Chinese food. We really enjoyed ourselves and I did feel pretty sad when she left the car when we dropped her off at her Dad's.
It felt strange that first night I was home and she wasn't there. She is never usually away on a Thursday night and she has never been away from me longer than 3 nights. I completley broke down on Thursday night. I walked into the girls bedroom and just looked at her bed with the teddies all laid up nicely along the wall side. I honestly wanted her home. I wanted her cuddles.
Usually in the mornings she will sneak into my bed for cuddles and then she goes back to her bed or bedroom and plays nicely. She doesn't raise her voice, her voice is just nice and calm. It's been nights since she has been gone and I have been ok since that first night but I think it's going to hit me again around Monday or Tuesday.
I am counting the days now. I can not wait too see her huge beautiful smile, hear all her stories from the holiday, hear her funny laugh, see how much she has grown, watching her play school again and so much more. I just can't wait for my baby girl to come back home. We're all missing her so much.