Freddie will have days where he will want to be stuck with me constantly, throughout the day and evening until he eventually falls asleep at 9pm (ish). He does love the attention and cuddles, and although it can be exhausting at times, I secretly love it too. I love giving him attention and seeing that smile on his face instead of his upset face (although his upset face is cute too) and having those cosy cuddles, especially in the evenings under a blanket.
Breastfeeding is easier during the night than a bottle because I don't have to get up to make a bottle, but feeding can be exhausting during the night and day. It's official that he does co-sleep with me. I find it so much easier co-sleeping. As I can feed him and we can both fall asleep. Even though I don't sleep heavily when he is there, and any small noise will wake me up, or Freddie will wake me up by latching in the wrong place, it's better than staying awake for hours on end. The nights can drag at times, especially when I am aching because I am squeezed in between Freddie and my partner in bed (we need a king size bed!). I try to put Freddie back in his snuzpod crib if I wake up and he's fast asleep. Sometimes it won't last.
Since having Freddie, he has changed me, a lot. He's changed me as a person, and he's changed me as a parent. I am ten times more patience and I understand more about how fast children grow. Watching Freddie go through these new milestones such as rolling from his tummy to his back, grabbing things, smiling and giggling, it's making me sad to think I will never experience these kinds of milestones again with another son or daughter. I am taking it day by day and taking it all in. I know my baby boy won't be co-sleeping forever, he won't want my cuddles one day. He won't want my attention or want someone to pull funny faces/voices at him to make him smile/laugh. It makes me sad to think that, but it's true. The girls are growing up so fast recently; they're both becoming little ladies. They are both so independent, and I wish I had paid more attention to them growing up.
So, this exhaustion, it'll pass. It won't be forever. I will get my full night sleep one, but it's not now.