Posted by Saturday, 6 May 2017

We're Just A Normal Family Trying Our Best To Make It Work


Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted that two parent and kids 'dream' type family. I never had it as I grew up, I was brought up by my amazing Dad, who did absolutely everything for my brother and I. I am so grateful for everything he did for us. He showed me what it was like to be a proper parent. As I was growing up to be my own person, I did wish I'd have my Mother around properly. Do Mother and daughter things. Something I'll never get to experience because still to this day she isn't a proper Mother to me. I was always jealous of my school friends having both parents around. Although I could talk to my Dad about absolutely anything, there were certain things I couldn't talk to him about. I'm sure most girls could agree.


My life didn't go to plan at all. I fell pregnant with my first at the age of sixteen. Never did I want to be pregnant so young. It was a typical story of 'she liked him, but he didn't like her'. When I found out I was pregnant (seven weeks gone), he was with somebody else already. It did hurt. I'm sure anyone who's pregnant and sees the baby's Dad with someone else, not helping out with anything, it would hurt them too. Knowing I was going through pregnancy all by myself (with a great help with my Dad) got me down, a lot. But knowing I was going to parenthood as a single Mum hurt me even more. I was full of guilt. Guilty because I brought my beautiful daughter into the world to a single parent family. Her Dad didn't want to know her at that point until a good few months down the line (he does see her now). I honestly though I'd not be with anyone. I would never have that 'family life' I'd dreamed of. But one thing I will never forget is having my daughter. She changed me as a person. She changed my whole life.

Six years ago on April the 15th, I met my partner for the first time at his local pub. We had spoken on Facebook a few times before this and planned to meet that night. I remember one of my friends driving me there, I was full of nerves. When he came to our table, just something at that moment felt right. Something felt good. When we left a couple of hours later, he came up to me at the door and gave me a hug. Thinking about it now it gives me the whole butterfly feeling. Little did I know that six years down the line we'd still be together. We've experienced two pregnancies, two births, moving house three times, buying our own home, going to Thailand as a family, the ups and downs of parenting and the rest.


I started my blog four years ago this month. Four years of people knowing a lot about our family life. I have received many messages of people saying we are such a 'happy family', the 'perfect family', 'family goals' and some have even said they're jealous of our family. I never know what to say when I receive those kinds of messages. Why? Because we're none of that. We're not happy all the time, perfect family and definitely not 'family goals' and nothing to be jealous of either. You see, we have tried damn hard for our family to work. I sometimes try and think, where do people get this from? How can anyone possibly be jealous of our family? It doesn't really make sense but when I think about it hard, no one sees or hears what happens behind closed doors. What people see is what I write on social media, Instagram, Facebook and my blog. Although I always try my best to be totally honest on my blog, it still won't be 100% reality and everyone still won't be able to see everything.

We are just a normal family trying to make it work. Having kids have changed us. When my partner and I met, it was just us and Mia. He met Mia about four months into our relationship. He has been fantastic with her. She would go to her Dad's every other weekend for the night, and that was the time my partner and I would go out for a meal, to the cinema, for a meal and other things. Since having Elliw, things changed. Although Mia still goes to her Dad's, every weekend for one night now, we still had Elliw. 'Us' time wasn't very often, but we did try our best. Since having Freddie and since he's a breastfed baby, we've not had time just us in over a year. It's been awfully hard.


We've been at breaking point, a few of times. There has been a point where I have packed a bag and ready to go. There's been a point where I think probably being a single parent, again, would be easier. But we make it work. Sometimes when it comes to near breaking point, it gives you a kick up the backside to get that 'spark' back again. Maybe you're not spending enough time together, maybe you do not appreciate each other as well as you should. Having kids stress us both out a lot. He works full time, I am a work from home and stay at home Mum. I do the housework, school run, work at home and look after the kids. I feel very lucky that I do get the chance to watch the kids grow, I get to do the school runs, but sometimes it can all get too much. I'm moody nearly every single evening when my partner comes back. Simply because having kids is hard work at times. There are good days and bad days. We will have arguments over the silliest things such as dishes or who left the sock on top of the stairs, silly things like that. We will also have arguments about big things too. But I see that we always come out stronger at the end of it. I find that we learn something through arguments. We don't argue all the time, but you could say we bicker like little kids most days like normal couples and families do.

We keep going. This 'dream family life' that I dreamt of as a little girl isn't all so happy after all. It's bloody hard work having kids and keeping a relationship. We get on really well and super lucky that we both have a funny sense of humour and many things in common with each other. I honestly wouldn't have my life any other way. We have some lovely memories together, as a family and I can't wait to make more with the kids.


So, we're not that 'perfect family'. We are just a normal family who, laugh, cry, joke, argue, get fed up of each other, make memories, have breaking points and the rest. We just live life day by day as a family of five, trying our very best to make it work. But between all the silly arguments, tears and stress we do have the most amazing memories, laughter, jokes and brilliant stories we can tell the kids when they're older. They are the ones that keep us going, but sometimes everything can be too much, and things do need to come out, especially if we keep feelings to ourselves.

So, I promise, we are just an ordinary family. Sometimes social media can picture an entirely different picture to reality. Ever since I started this blog and since I started talking about my family more, I want it to be honest.









This post is linked up to these fab linkies; Marvellous MondaysMonday Morning Blog Club,

8 comments:

  1. Having kids is so tough and puts a huge strain on any relationship at times. Just remember you're doing amazingly and you're a lovely mummy and partner xxx

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  2. I, like you, also wanted that 'perfect family' and so far it is going ok but with some bumps on the way. Fab post as you describe what family life is like for you and that everyone is different x
    #marvmondays

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  3. Great post, a real introduction to you and your dream. I grew up in "dream" family of parents and kids. Reality is nothing is perfect - not parents, not kids. WE all just do the best we can. WE're all human and the important thing is to keep trying and connecting. You are certainly doing that. Wishing much happiness for you and your family. #MMBC

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  4. A really great post, and a message that I think is important to put forward as social media can definitely show a different (mostly positive) perspective of life. We have to work at things in life, most importantly the relationships and connections we want to keep, and that goes hand in hand with raising a family also. Thank you for sharing these words, and some lovely family photos included. #MarvMondays

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  5. Beautiful and honest post dear. So happy to visit your blog :)

    #marvmonday

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  6. Such a beautiful and heartfelt post. I think its so important to show the normal stuff as social media can sometimes make everything seem so perfect and positive, and that's not always the case. Life is about the ups and downs xx

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  7. Hi Beth, if only people could see what really goes on behind closed doors! Having a family is hard work, there is no doubt about that. It puts stress and strain on all of us. It's good for people to realise that as perfect as your family looks it does take hard work and you do have tough times. It's natural. But to appreciate the good times we have to go through the tough times!.... Love the photo with your little girl with her finger up her nose! You gotta love 'em!

    Thank you for linking up with the #MMBC.

    XX

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  8. Ah I love this post, Beth, it's so honest! You sound exactly like my family and I'm sure every other. I'm also careful to share the honest side of our life too as I'd hate people to just see the good stuff and think things are perfect. I think it makes our readers feel so much better to know that just because something appears 'perfect', it probably isn't. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

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