Weight Loss Journey - The Start

For years I have been on and off with Slimming World. In fact, I had lost just over 3 and a half stone by sticking to plan. That is the main reason why I kept going back, even during my third pregnancy. I have never been happy with my weight - ever. But when I think back to how I looked and felt when I lost that 3 and a half stone, I was getting happier in myself and life was better. I could do more things such as running up the stairs with out getting out of breath, sitting on my legs without them hurting, no pains on my knees, legs or feet and not suffering so much from the hot weather. The little things you don't even think about.

Since having Freddie, life hasn't been easy. I am not saying this for any sympathy because that's not what I want. I want to write this as I want to be able to read it back in a few weeks, months or years time to remind myself why I don't want to be this weight that I currently am. I hate it. I hate looking at myself in the mirror, I hate feeling uncomfortable in everything that I wear, I hate being the size that I am now and the list could go on. I've struggled, a lot since giving birth to Freddie. The shock of having a baby after a 4 year gap was pretty difficult to cope with. Also breastfeeding him was a struggle, but I don't regret it one bit.

This past year has been hard. I've been trying my best to cope and be the best Mam I can be to my kids while trying to make myself feel and look better. Being awfully sleep deprived and trying to keep my relationship on the go, which can be difficult at times when we don't get much time to ourselves. Lots of other things have been happening too and sticking to weigh in at my local Slimming World group each week just kept getting harder as it came by. When I first joined, I did well. I lost every single week and lost more than half a stone in the first month. I was thrilled and was enjoying it. That's when things started going down hill, family related. I'm kicking myself for lacking and not being strong enough just to carry on but sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

Since things went down hill and being terribly sleep deprived, I've been pretty rubbish at Slimming World. I lost the 9lbs, gained it then lost it again. I have lost love for going to group each week. I felt as though it was 'chore' to do each Wednesday evening. I hate waiting all day to be weighed. There was a morning class on a Friday, but I'd have to take a bus into town, which would be mean I'd have to spend even more money. Near £10 per week just to weigh and I wouldn't be able to stay as I'd have Freddie with me and it was around his morning nap time. Sometimes, you just can't commit yourself to things when you have kids.

However, I spent the weekend at Haven for Freddie's birthday, and I ate anything and everything I wanted. I didn't go over board though so I am pleased with myself for that. However, I felt worse in myself. It was the feeling I was waiting for. I wanted that urge to start from scratch again, but I'm still not in love with the thought of starting group again which is why I've decided to try from home. I am going to weight every Friday morning at 7-8am. I feel the time and day suits me better and I'm really looking forward to it! I am hoping to stick to update on my blog each week, and possibly do a vlog weight loss update each month too.

I can do this!