OUR YEAR - 2017

I kind of love and hate this time of year. I love that fact that I can think, look and read back over all of our memories but I hate that another year has flown by, yet again. I'm sure I've cried each New Year's Eve or Day for the past couple of days. I always feel mixed emotions, especially when I've failed at goals and not achieved things I wanted. But as they say, we should never regret anything that we choose to do in life. But I do regret things I didn't choose to do. Things always happen for a reason, whether they hurt or make you happy.

2017 has just been full of ups and downs, just like many other people's I'm sure. The early months of 2017 were tough. Really tough. I was at breaking point, I didn't know what to do, and I felt like a complete failure to my kids. Something I always wanted to achieve was to have a 'happy family life' for my children and myself. Of course, no family is perfect, and all we can do is try our best. We got through it and sorted our problems out - still going strong.

Months went by again and there I was feeling low, yet again. My partner and I were fine. It was me. I was struggling with everything else, mostly parenthood and working from home. I still don't think many people understand what it's like to work from home and juggle looking after three kids too - it's not easy. Unless you do it yourself, I don't think anyone would understand. There's been a lot of cries, breakdowns and tantrums (kids). It's been hard, but yet again, we got through it.

We get through the 'bad days' by having all those lovely memories. Freddie learning to walk, saying his first word. Going on holiday, having a few breaks in Bluestone and Haven. Having some kid-free time to ourselves. Both girls coming home from school with some lovely photos of us and funny stories. Going out for lovely walks and family adventures together. Having little parties on a Friday night, film nights and more. Mia losing her two top teeth and not being able to say the 'S' letter - it's hilarious.

Watching our three beautiful children grow. They're not perfect every day - no one is perfect. They've never been perfect, but they are in their ways. Although they are brother and sisters, all three have unique personalities. But something that makes them the same is, they're all amazing. Through all the stress, pain, the hard days and more, I am proud of them. So proud of them all.

They are the ones that keep me going. My family.

2017, although you've been crap at times, you've been amazing at the same time.

I've lost friends, lost family but gained better ones. I've learnt a lot during this year, like I have each year that's passed.

The days are long but the years are short.

Make the most of it.

The good memories are always the best and hide the bad memories in ways.

Here's to 2018 and more amazing memories and days with my three amazing children and a wonderful partner.

Happy New Year everyone.