HE DIDN'T LEAVE ME

During a weekday that I was off work, I had a friend request on Facebook. I accepted, had a little nosy and messaged to say thank you for the request. It all hit off from there. That's how my partner and I met. We text eachother multiple times a day on a daily basis. We phoned eachother often and eventually, we met up at his local pub. I remember that day like it was yesterday. My stomach was turning, I was full of nerves. I was somewhat dressed up but now I wonder why on earth did I wear what I wore that day - fashion those days, I guess? Moving on, we had a drink with our friends and I left near midnight. 

We carried on texting eachother and we met again the following week. This time it was just me and him. It felt strange but it felt real. It felt different to all the others but I tried my best not to put my hopes high. Because at the end of the day, it wasn't just me who he had to take on, it was my little girl, Mia too. I was a single Mam to Mia ever since I found out I was pregnant at sixteen. Although she was and still is my whole world, I always wondered who would take on a young teenage Mum? Who would actually date me and take on a little girl as their own too? 

Eventually, after a month or so we both started going out with eachother properly. Looking back at how we used to be makes me laugh but such lovely memories at the same time. So simple but nice. He would come to visit me most days after work, spend the evening together after I put Mia to bed. We'd watch TV, films and have a few snacks and takeaway (most nights). Some evenings we would go out for a food or go out for a walk somewhere if my Dad was around to babysit Mia while she was sleeping (she was a good sleeper). 

I remember that I used to love how he respected my choice of waiting for him to see Mia. I saw how he was with his cousins and he was amazing. I was actually looking forward to see how he would be around my little girl. It was about 3 months later that he met Mia for the first time properly. I can't really remember the day exactly but I do remember it was in the back room in my Dad's house and Mia had no clue as to what was going on. I also do remember that he was so lovely with her. 

Not long after that, my world seemed to have crashed down a little. 

I was late.

I took a test with my best friend, Amy, being my support and it turned out positive. It wasn't something I expected as I was on the pill. It was a huge shock and I just remember those feelings of hurt. I felt like I had ruined everything - ruined my chance of possibly a happy long lasting relationship - something I had dreamt of for a very long time. 

I was so scared to phone him to tell him. I was scared that he was just going to up and leave. Leave me to go through the pregnancy on my own, like I had to do with my first. Go through false promises throughout the whole pregnancy and guilt of bringing a child into the world with only one parent there for them - something that I went through when I was pregnant with my first, Mia.

My whole life has been full of false promises from the people who were supposed to be there for me - My Mam and another person who was supposed to be there for me and Mia (who I am not going to name). 

I got the courage to phone him and tell him. Of course, he was shocked and wasn't sure what to say but something that surprised me was, he still wanted to see me. 

He came over the following day and we had a chat. All kinds of things were said (not nasty) and again, I was shocked that I didn't feel forced to do something I didn't want to go through, like I felt during my first pregnancy. It was all so strange - but a good feeling at the same time. 

By October that year, we decided to move in together. I moved to the village he lived and we were happy in our first home. The bond between Mia and him was unbreakable and still is. The way he took her on as his own was absolutely amazing. Also, the way he was with me during my pregnancy was so lovely. It was actually nice to feel loved, to share that excitement of meeting our baby. Something I never experienced during my first as it was only me. 

Fast forward to the birth and again, it was so different to my first. The whole experience was different. It felt amazing and somewhat magical too. Being able to cuddle my little baby with her Dad was one of the best feelings ever. 

The main point to this post is to basically say how amazing my partner really is. I don't tend to mention much about us both on my blog as I like to keep that part private. Of course, we have been through a lot of downs but also we've been through a lot of ups too. He is such a hardworking, caring and loving man. He might not know it but me and the kids look up to him and love him so damn much. 

Everything he does for us all, every single day is appreciated so much. 

But most of all, for me, I am just so pleased he didn't leave. He didn't leave me. He stood up. He stood by me and he was there for me and my babies, and still is. I couldn't have asked for a better Dad to my children.