The first two weeks was lovely. My partner was home, and we were a family of 5. I always thought I'd be a Mum of girls and a Mum of two. Although I really wanted another baby and have always wanted a little boy, I never thought we'd have one now. We had planned to wait a couple of more years, but things happened. When we think about it now, Freddie came at the right time for us. We have so many exciting plans ahead for the future.
In those first two weeks, I had a lot of help from my partner. We had a mix of lazy days and family days out. I was really excited going out as a family of five for this first time and trying out his new pram. The weather was amazing when Freddie was born, and so we made the most of going out for a walk and making memories with all three kids.
As the weekend went by, it was pretty difficult trying to juggle work, a baby and two kids, as well as a relationship. With sleepless nights, a lot of sleepless nights, our relationship did get rocky. We are a strong couple, and I knew that my moods and snappy comments wouldn't break us, but like every single other relationship, we had our downs. As Freddie was born the first day of the girl's school summer holidays, I had all three kids with me at home. What I found most difficult was breastfeeding. I didn't have any thoughts on stopping as it's the best thing I've ever done but having to juggle feeding a baby who wanted constant, long feeds and then keeping the girls happy and entertained, it was hard. Very hard. Those 7 weeks of summer were mixed with tears, laughter, exhaustion and more tears. I've promised to give the girls a better summer this year.
Although there were a lot of downs during Freddie's first weeks. I treasure those moments that we had together during the cluster feeding stage. The housework was the last thing on my mind. I literally had no time to do any housework. Our house was tip and looking back, I really don't care. I had more time with my baby boy, and I knew as he got older I'd be able to do more things such as housework and blog work. I am glad I left the dishes behind, left the washing until a few days, it meant I had more time with my baby and bonding with him.
When Freddie was newborn, he had quite a lot of dark hair. He's lost it all since, and his hair is growing back slowly but to a light blonde colour. When I look back at his newborn photos, it doesn't look like him, at all. It makes me feel sad that I'll never get those newborn cuddles again. But yet again, he's still a Mammy's boy and still loves his cuddles. He has more of a bond with my partner now too. In the first few months of his life, I think my partner felt quite down that he was never able to settle Freddie without me there. Even some evenings now Freddie will only stop crying with me, but I do tend to leave them together and let me partner do it if I know Freddie's not due to a feed. Knowing Freddie is more settled with his Daddy now makes me feel much happier and gives me a bit of a break too.
One of the biggest moments from the early days that I will always remember is the minute he was born. Giving birth to a baby boy was somehow a whole new experience. The second he was out, I burst into tears of joy and said the words "we have a boy!" and gave my partner a big hug. He also had tears of joy and just that moment, the three of us, it was purely amazing. It was the last time we are ever going to experience a birth of a baby. It was full of emotions.
The girls were super excited to meet him. Elliw met him about half an hour after I gave birth and she looked so confused but absolutely adored him from the minute she met him. Mia was at her Dad's, and so she met him the following day when I was on the ward. She was very unsure for the first few days. She wouldn't hold him or go near him that much, but she looked more nervous. I could tell she wanted to hold him and cuddle him, but she was full of nerves. Eventually, she started to hold him and help me a lot with him. Both girls have been absolutely amazing with their little brother. He's so lucky that he has two amazing big sisters.
Although the early days were tough at times, we do have some amazing memories.
I am linking up to The Ordinary Moments