How I Feel Being High Risk In My Pregnancy


I went to my second midwife appointment today. I was running late as I wasn't feeling to good as I was going on the school run. When I got back home, I cleaned the kitchen and made my usual porridge and fruit breakfast. I managed to sit down and eat and then my partners mother came in the house so I could head off to see the midwife whilst she looked after Elliw for me. My appointment was at 9.50am and I didn't leave the house until 9.50, I finally arrived at 10am.

My appointment was only for 10 minutes. I got to hear Baby's hearbeat for the first time. Baby was quite low down. I was happy. When I arrived home, I read through my notes and noticed that Midwife has put me down for High Risk for this pregnancy. I was high risk in my other two pregnancies but only because of Obstetric Cholestasis. They have already put me down now for high risk now because of my weight. It may be all the hormones but for some reason I feel so upset about it. Why did I let myself go and put 2 and half stone on last year when I had done so well loosing 3 and a half stone the previous year.

I feel so disappointed in myself.

I am scared.

I was really hoping to be able to go into labour myself without getting induced and hoping to reach my Due Date or even pass. I will probably complain like mad if I do, but I know after I had Baby I will be proud that I have finally experienced that feeling of going into labour on my own.

I have a diabetes test around 28 weeks and I have to have a scan at 32 and 34 weeks to check Baby's size because Mia was born 8lbs 9oz and Elliw was 9lbs 8oz, both before their due dates. I am hoping that because I started my Slimming World Journey (again) last week, that eating healthily this time round will help me and hopefully make Baby smaller. My cravings were all junk food with Mia and Elliw and I had no idea how much weight I was gaining. I am trying my best to do the total opposite this time round.

For some reason, I do feel like some kind of failure that I am somehow putting my Baby at risk, all because I couldn't say 'no' to food and healthy lifestyle last year. Just knowing this is going to be my last pregnancy, it is kind of sad knowing I am still going to suffer with Cholestasis during the last 10 (or more) weeks and dealing with my weight all the way through.

You can call me a hormonal cow, because I know I am! Lots of things are worrying me and getting me all emotional recently!

15 comments:

  1. I won't ask because it's never right to ask a woman how much she weighs but I'm surprised that you're considered high risk because of weight! You certainly don't look it!! Don't feel disappointed and you're certainly not a failure!! You're doing the best now xx

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  2. I think they just have to take precautions so don't worry to much - you certainly don't look high risk!

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  3. Oh hun don't feel disappointed or failure at all. Our bodies sometimes get the best of us but when you hold that baby in your arms this part will be a memory and so much more to look forward to and possibly just being cautious. Won't be long. #love2blog

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  4. Bless you I was classed as high risk in my pregnancy with Blake as I have PCOS.
    I know I would feel awful as well if I found out it was due to weight it's not the best thing to find out about when ur pregnant and feeling hormonal.

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  5. Don't let it get to you too much, I'm sure they are just being cautious because you've already had two high risk pregnancies x

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  6. You are not a failure love! You are doing the best you can. x

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  7. oh hun you are not a failure at all, don't let it upset you as long as you and baby are healthy that is the main thing! Lots of love and wishing you all the best xxx

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  8. I was considered high risk with Pickle - due to age and weight (I was 41) they wanted me to wear surgical stockings and have injections in my tummy!!! My gut feeling was 'no way' and I stuck to it. I was absolutely fine, as was Pickle. Relax hun, don't worry, and just try and eat 'normally' you want to enjoy this pregnancy! Baby will be what it will be, please don't try and make it smaller. Hugs, Kaz x

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  9. Aww Hun dont feel like a failure as long as you and your baby are healthy and getting the right treatment that's all that matters xx

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  10. Ah you poor thing. It must be so stressful, I wish you all the best. x

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  11. Don't let it worry you, they will just want to be cautious is all and keep a closer eye on you - which isn;t a bad thing at all in my opinion. I was high risk too with Henry, for different reasons, but one thing my Midwofe to harp on about was my weight... "don't eat too much cake"... I ate the cake! xxxx

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  12. I was just about to suggest joining Slimming World to help you through it and then I read that you had. Well done, you are doing what you can which is brilliant!
    Don't put yourself down or be too hard on yourself, it will only make things worse.
    Good luck with everything.

    #Love2Blog

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  13. Don't feel disheartened you just have to focus on its the best way to keep an eye on baby and make sure it's healthy! Keep going with the healthy eating with your slimming world and who knows what will happen :) x

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  14. Ohhh you are not a failure! Just the fact that you are following slimming world throughout your pregnancy proves that you always have your family's best interests at heart which is amazing. All the best with your third pregnancy :-) x

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  15. They are just going by numbers in a book Hun, obviously do it to cover their back. Sure your weight is fine for pregnancy, I'm surprised they think you're high risk because of it. I'm high risk because I have an under active thyroid and it can cause low birth weight. The way I look I wouldn't be surprised I give birth to a 10lb baby! I keep telling myself at keast I'm getting extra care by being high risk. Xx

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