When I found out I was pregnant last October the first thing I knew that I wanted to do was to breastfeed. I knew this was going to be my last baby. I had formula bottle fed both my girls and never really thought about breastfeeding until after my second. I really wanted to try it out and just have the experience of breastfeeding. I was quite worried all the way through my pregnancy as I had hardly no information about breastfeeding during my pregnancy and I didn't know much about it either. I was also worried that either I wasn't able to do it or he wouldn't be able to latch on.
When I gave birth to Freddie I didn't try breastfeeding until about 2 hours later. He latched on well and the midwives were pleased. From that first latch I felt this sudden bond. It was an amazing feeling, knowing I was giving him something that was good. When I got taken to the ward for the night with Freddie the midwife asked if I had breastfed before, which I said no and she was really shocked and said I was feeding really well like I had done it before, which boosted up my confidence that I was doing something right. The following day I had found out that Freddie has tongue-tie but luckily it hasn't affected his latch for feeding. I don't think we are going to do anything about it right now because it isn't affecting anything at the moment.
One thing I have found different between breastfeeding and bottle feeding is that I feel awkward with so many visitors coming over. I have to say I am so glad the visiting part is nearly over now as I wasn't in the best of moods when people were coming over without letting me know as I was still and still am learning with breastfeeding. He cluster feeds which means he wants to feed then has cuddles then wants another feed again not long after and that continues for a while. I do find it completely different to bottle feeding. I have breastfed in front of a few people who have visited but I just feel so uncomfortable that I am having to cover up because I don't have the confidence to feed uncovered. Visiting is coming less and less now so it's not to bad when it's the odd person coming over such as close friends and family.
I have found the bond quite different to bottle feeding. Although the bond is still as strong, I just find there is that something special and something extra when you breastfeed. I do feel as if Freddie is constantly on me and my partner doesn't get much bonding time with him but I do try and leave him and Freddie together sometimes at the times he doesn't need a feed.
I have noticed that when we get ready to go out for the day, it's so much easier knowing I don't have to pack up formula and bottles for the day. Knowing milk is ready for him whenever is so much easier and a lot quicker to get ready a day out.
The first two weeks of breastfeeding hasn't been as bad as I thought and I know I won't be giving up anytime soon. I can see this being long-term and I have to say I am really proud of myself and so happy that I can feed my little boy myself.