The Struggles Of Having A Lazy Toileting Child

This post is kind of me reaching out for help and maybe finding other parents who are suffering and going through the same thing. The title says it all really. Mia started soiling constantly from about 2 years old. I didn't think much of it until I started toilet training her. I had to change her knickers and throw them out up to 8 or more times day. Some days it went up to 10 days. It was getting ridiculous. I was miserable every day. I wasn't enjoying time with my kids. I didn't go out because I was scared of her soiling and smelling the place wherever we were. Me and my partner argued nearly every day, and I broke down crying every day.

We took her to doctors, we tried a no lactose diet. It worked for a week or so, then she was back to soiling again. We tried this for roughly 3-4months. We were also under paediatrician by now. She had blood tests done twice. Mia is petrified of needles. She was that petrified and extra two nurses came in and people asked if we were ok after. She had to be pinned down. All tests came back normal.

We were then put under Chronic Constipation Clinic. Right. Many people ask how is she soiling so much if she is chronic constipated. Basically. Chronic constipation is when there is a big stool in her bowels which she either can not or won't pass. So instead runny or little bits are coming out. {Sorry about TMI}. She is on Movicol a form of laxative and will be on the medication long-term. Now she is going to Year 1 in September and will be starting Swimming Lessons. I won't be able to allow her to go Swimming Lessons if she carries on soiling.

She has good few weeks, but recently it feels like we are back to square 1. We would go through 6 + wet wipes a week. Luckily we are not back down to that stage but she is slowly getting back down. I have tried numerous things such as -

  • Reward Charts
  • Praising her when she has gone to toilet
  • Praising her when she has had clean knickers all day
  • Encouraging her to go toilet
  • Bribing her to go to toilet {bad I know!}
  • Giving her a row when she has dirty knickers
  • Ignoring her
  • Buying new knickers with characters she likes {these are long gone now}
  • Telling her she can not go to a party or somewhere
  • Taking toys away
  • Putting her straight to bed
  • Crying and explaining
  • Rows
  • Hospital appointments
You name it. I've tried it. It really is exhausting. If she has a bad day, at the end of the day I come down stairs and I do break down most of the time. I feel so alone as I feel no one really does understand what it is like but of course there is someone out there who does. I honestly do not know how else to do it. I honestly feel like I have failed in the toileting part with Mia. I sometimes blame myself, but on the other hand I can't blame myself for her laziness to go to toilet?

 I am going to try giving her a big dose of movicol next week at the start of Summer holidays and see if that helps but I just know a few weeks down the line she will be back dirty knickers again. She was discharged from Constipation clinic last week but I think I may have to phone and get her appointments back again as her next one is in December {if I feel I want to go that is}

If anyone has any tips or advice please comment below.
I am starting to think she is just being really lazy at the moment but how can I stop it?
Do you know anyone else going through the same?

Thanks in advance! 

1 comment

  1. My girl is nearly 8 and still wets herself. She will go to the toilet for a poo fine but when it comes to weeing she will wet herself about once a day at least. We are waiting for another appointment at the hospital with the behavior people....They have ruled out that it is medical so it's just laziness on her part....She goes off into a daydream and focused on what she is doing that she just forgets....
    I know it's not the same as what you and Mia are going through but I know how you feel....It is exhausting!
    Have you tried telling your girl that she won't be able to allow her to go Swimming Lessons if she continues....I had to say the same to my girl with her wetting and she was dry for the two weeks she went....Of course it started again when the swimming finished. Ugh!
    I don't have any more advice to offer.....Sorry! Sending big hugs!


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