Mama's Boy

Dear Freddie,



You're eight months old, nearly nine months. How is that even possible? Only seems like yesterday that I found out I was pregnant with you. You're our last baby and do you know what? I couldn't even imagine you being a big brother or even giving my attention to another baby other than you and your sisters. I honestly couldn't. You're the perfect last baby. Ok, you don't sleep, you could do better on that or possibly you could stop moaning a lot through the day - ha ha, but otherwise, yes you're just wonderful. Exhausting but wonderful.

I always wanted a baby boy. I never knew why, but now I do. I know why. Because you're just so beautiful and the relationship between a Mama and her son is just super special. It's unexplainable. It's so strong and nothing could tear us apart. During the early days, Mama was stressed, a lot. I'm sorry for that. I didn't mean to cry so much in front of you. The new breastfeeding journey was a little hard and very exhausting. It still is now, but not as hard. When you first started to cut down your feeds during the day, I felt sad. I felt like something was missing. But, looking at it now, it is nice to have that little break now and then, especially that you don't sleep - hardly at all! I wish you slept better.

Talking about sleep, it's your first proper night in your big boy cot tonight. Yep, eight and a half months old and it's only now I've managed to get the courage to put you in your cot. I was so nervous and looking at the empty snuzpod crib, made me sad. Really sad. I admitt, I cried. Just knowing you're my last baby, it makes me sad. Knowing you won't be waking up next to me in the crib through the night, is weird. I am dreading it through the night though. You went to sleep at around 8pm and you've already woken up twice, it's 11pm now. Just a normal night. But hopefully, it'll make some kind of difference. Knowing me, I'll give in and let you sleep in my bed. I hope I don't but I know I'm going to miss your snuggles. We can still have our morning snuggles in bed, though. Which you love.

You're growing so fast now. Too fast. Your teeth are so big and you've got a huge gap inbetween your two front teeth, just like me (I guess it's a good thing you have one thing like me?!). I still find it strange, but super cute, that I have a 8 month old who's got 8 teeth already. Neither of your sisters had that many teeth at that age. You're sitting up so well right now. You're trying your best to crawl but just can't seem to get the grip with the wooden flooring. One day you'll get the hang of it though. You've picked yourself up twice. The first time you managed to get up half way until you went back on your bum again. The second time you did it, but the minute you were up, you fell back down. You were super proud of yourself and full of smiles when I praised you.

Your first word was Mam and you've got not idea how much that means to me. I still find it strange that I now have three little people calling me Mam now, though. Your little voice is so adorable, but not when you're screaming crying. You cry, a lot. Not as much as you used to but you're like my little shadow. You don't like me leaving the room, not for even two seconds. You come with me to the bathroom, kitchen and wherever else I need to go. Even though you can cry and moan a lot, you are a really happy and smiley baby. You're always full of smiles and it's so easy to make you smile with that cheeky grin of yours. Your big blue eyes are just perfect. Everybody compliments your eyes, you love staring at strangers and even people you know. It's pretty funny.

The way you look up to your big sisters is just pure amazing. The bond between the three of you is just super special. I am looking forward to see how the bond grows as you all grow older. You love cuddles with them both, watching TV/iPad and lying in bed with them. You're forever grabbing things and playing with toys now. You love cups and grabbing your big sisters' toys - which they find quite annoying by the way. But I think it's hilarious, then you laugh!

You're so special. You really have filled a space in our little crazy family. From the moment I held you in my arms, I just knew our family was complete.

Now, slow down, please.

Cariad Mawr (lots of love),

Mama xxx