I'm The Mum Who Gives The iPad To My Kids at 6am

Throughout the first pregnancy, we will all get parenting advice and tips from other parents. But nothing and no one can prepare you for parenthood. We just take it day by day as it comes. Parenting can is challenging. Whether you have 1, 2 or a dozen kids it's exhausting. The sleepless nights, the constant runarounds, school runs, tantrums, repeating yourselves, keeping them happy and the rest. Although it can seem like the most exhausting and hardest job in the world, it's very rewarding. Having the chance to watch our mini-me grow up, treasuring those precious moments and loving someone so much no words can describe, is absolutely amazing. Nothing can beat the love and bond with your own child.

Through the seven years of being a Mum myself, I have seen the highs and lows of parenting. Something that really gets me is parents judging other parents. I personally find that Mums and elderly women are the worst.

Facebook 'Mum' groups are something that's quite common on the popular social media now. But, I find them so dangerous. People can read things in a different tone of voice compared to in person. However, what I have noticed through the years is judgement in ways we all parent and even judgement with our own children.

Each child is different. I've learnt that after having my second daughter, but still I would and could never judge a parent because a child wasn't able to do a certain thing at a certain age. My three may look alike but personality wise and development wise you'd never think they were siblings. All three have reached their milestones at different ages. Mia was walking two weeks after her birthday, while Elliw was 15 months old and didn't walk outdoors until 18 months. Freddie didn't start crawling on all fours until he was around 10 months old. Speech wise, Mia has been great since she said her first word. She picked her words and sentences really quick, she still does now. Elliw, on the other hand, had to go to speech therapy and a speech and language school three times a week for a year. She still has trouble a bit now saying some of her letters such as 'R, improved' but improved and done brilliantly. I still love them all equally the same.

Every single child will reach a milestone in their own time. If there is any worry, it's always best to contact your local health visitor or your doctor.

Sleep is something I have struggled with since having Freddie nearly a year ago. He just hates sleeping at night if he's not in my arms. I know I could get more sleep if I let him sleep in my bed every single night, but I don't want to co-sleep through the night. I don't mind from 5am onwards but before then, I want him to learn to sleep in his cot.

I leave him to cry.

That may sound wrong to some, but that is how I do it. I give him a bath, clean nappy, change to clean pyjamas, super and feed. I put him in his cot and walk out the room. He will cry, scream some evenings. He has taken less and less time until he falls asleep. It takes around 15 minutes or less now as before it was 30 minutes - two hours. I do go back every 10-15 minutes to lay him back down and put his dummy in his mouth.

But that is my way.

It works for me.

Some parents lie in the cot with the baby (I would break the cot if I did that) until baby falls asleep, some hold their hand until they fall asleep then sneak out the room, some co-sleep from evening til morning, some rock their babies to sleep, some leave them up until they fall asleep themselves, some do gentle sleep training and some do what I do, the control crying method.

It doesn't matter which way we learn to settle our babies, there's always some judgement going on. I don't agree with some ways but I would never put a parent down because of it and I don't judge them as a parent either.

We all parent differently.

We all do what we think is best for us and baby. No one should be put down or made to feel guilty for the way they parent their child.

The biggest judgment in parenting I feel at the moment is the way we feed our babies. How and why on earth do some people even think it's right to even pass judgment on the way babies are fed?

That Mum you see feeding her baby milk from a bottle. You may instantly think it's formula, she could of been up for hours expressing milk. It could even be formula, so what?

Did you know some mums who do give formula to their babies, they could have tried breastfeeding for the first few days, weeks or even months before deciding to go with formula

If you see a woman breastfeeding in public with no cover, don't stare at her or give her odd looks. Go up to her and say well done for having the confidence to feed in public because it may have been her first time!

To me, fed is best.

The way some Mums judge others is sad. We should all be supporting one another, not judging by the way they parent their own child. Every single one of us has to deal with extremely tough days and even nights. You never know what happens behind doors. Even if you see a child throwing a huge tantrum outside or in a shop, don't stop and stare or pass with snarky comments. If you're not going to help or offer the Mum some reassurance, just walk pass with no judgemental comments.

As said above, no one can prepare for the challenges parenting brings you each day whether it's, sleep deprivation, dealing with tantrums, postnatal depression, anxiety, struggling to feed, struggling to bond with your baby and there's so much more.

I'm the Mum who lets her kids play the iPad at 6am so I can have a little extra time in bed

I'm the Mum who puts her kids in the quiet corner or naughty chair if they have misbehaved

I'm the Mum who lets her kids eat chocolate and sweets

I'm the Mum who cooks quick oven food such as chicken nuggets and fish fingers!

I'm the Mum who will just say yes sometimes to have an easier life (but regrets it most of the time!)

I'm the Mum who has shouted at my kids for misbehaving, hitting me, spitting at me and winding me up.

I'm the Mum who has accidentally (and not) swore at my child.

But I'm also the Mum who's suffered deep depression and still suffering from anxiety. 

The Mum who shuts herself in the bathroom because she feels she can't cope and needs a minute. 

The Mum who feels it can all be too much at times. 

The Mum who's suffering from sleep deprivation.

The Mum who loves to have a break from her kids and feel normal, now and then.

The Mum who admits to missing being her own person. 

The Mum who sometimes hates being a stay at home Mum.

Stop judging. We all parent differently and we all deal with things differently.

Don't like what you see? Walk past.

Want to help? Do it!

Happy kids, happy Mums!

1 comment

  1. Completely agree with this post. And I love how honest it is. Motherhood is hard enough, without feeling like we're being judged, especially by other Mums. Great post lovely. xx


I appreciate every comment left on this site.
I do kindly ask no advertising brand websites. If you would like to know more about working together or just a friendly chat, please email me:
Thank you