Mum of three beautiful children...

Still to this day I'm over the mood that we have a little boy, a son. After having two girls, I was never expecting to have a boy in future, but here he is and oh my, he really has completed our little family. There's just something amazing with little boys, the bond he has with his sisters is amazing and just the way he is is just the cutest. Saying all that, he is the most hyper, outgoing and cheekiest child out of all three. He's constantly on the go, super clingy and a little boy who likes to be heard - except when he's shy.

The other day I realised I hadn't written his monthly update. In fact, I think I've missed two of his monthly updates, and it made me feel a little sad. One reason being, last year I remember thinking "when will I stop writing these monthly updates?" and I think the time has been already. I have absolutely loved writing them, but I find the older they get, the more you forget how many months old they actually are. Also, it does come at a time when you stop saying how many months old they are. Freddie is 20 months old now, and there's less than half a year when he will turn two years old and to me that is just crazy. Time really has flown by.

Having one or two children life flies but having a third, it goes even quicker. Life sure hasn't been easy since he arrived. Sleep deprivation, come back of depression, anxiety worsen and just not being able to cope most days. It's all draining and pure exhausting. When there are two children you can kind of keep them happy and entertained to an extent.

When the girls were younger, it was a little harder in ways as they both were reaching different milestones and learning new things at different times. They were also going through bad phases at different times too. As they've gotten older, they both have a mouth to argue with each other or even fight with each other. Not just with each other, but to my partner and me too - which is hard. It is harder the older they get, but adding a baby/toddler on top of that can be a struggle, but we cope.

Going from two to three is hard. Some people may say it isn't, but in my experience, it has been. Looking back through the last 20 odd months, there's always something going on. Whether I'm telling off one of the girls, or telling them both off for arguing, and then I'm straight off pulling Freddie away from something or stopping him doing something he's not supposed too. Trying to do food with him attached to me, stopping him from pulling things down from the table and all the rest. It just feels like it's constant, every single day.

There honestly isn't time for a 'break' when there are three kids around. There's always something that needs doing, or there's something the kids want. Rarely is there a time when they're all just quiet. There's always one who either cries, argues, shouts sings and whatever else. The very rare times of when all three are quiet is a nice peaceful moment (for all of 2 seconds).

However, saying all this, it's all worth it. Although, in all honesty, I do struggle to wake up in the mornings because I'm worried about what kind of day I'm going to have. No day is the same, there's always some challenge going to happen. But, I am grateful for each day that I wake up. Grateful that I have three amazing little children. Though every day isn't positive, there's always downs in between and some days are worse than others, they are still my kids, and they are my whole world.

My children and the three little people that keep me on my feet on a daily basis. The three that changed my world the moment I gave birth to them. Although my body, mind and appearance have changed a lot since I wouldn't have it any other way.

They can drive me absolutely crazy some days. I'll take myself to the bathroom and lock myself in there, with my hands on my ears just to have some kind of quietness for literally 30 seconds. But all the giggles, cuddles and love I get from all three makes it all worth it. One day they won't want to cuddle in bed in the mornings or have a cuddle at all. One day they will up and leave to live their own life, and that's one reason why it saddens me that life is flying by.

Life is too short to panic over all the negatives. I have been trying my very best the past few months to 'pick myself up', and although it's not as easy as that, I am trying. Whether it's me getting rid of negative people in my life, distracting myself from negative comments and speaking to someone when I'm a very bad place. Of course, there are times where I struggle badly, it's all part of parenthood. But, I get through, and I have got through it.

Postive thoughts make a positive mind.

Looking at my children's smiles, hearing their giggles and watching them grow is my happiness.

When they come up to me to tell me, they love me and that I'm their best friend/best Mum in the world, makes all the crying, worries and struggles totally worth it.

One day, I'll mostly forget all these upset moments. The moments I will remember are the ones of my children growing up. The lovely little pictures they draw, the lovely words they tell me and everything else.

I feel so lucky, and I won't let anyone take that away from me.