This is quite a personal post and I have been thinking for weeks and weeks if I should publish this post or not. But I have decided to because I have noticed that there is such thing as gender disappointment and I have read a few others posts about it too. I have always wanted a little boy. A little boy I can call my son. Always. I have no idea why and it doesn't mean I love my girls any less.
When I found out I was pregnant I didn't think about the gender for the first few weeks because of the worrying and confusion that was going on at the time. However, after a few weeks I did have a preference and I knew I wanted a boy. I knew this was going to be our last baby and so for this baby to be the last, a boy would be perfect. This is the reason why I wanted an early gender scan. I was impatient and couldn't wait much longer.
I didn't really have a 'feeling' if I was a carrying a boy or girl but I had a small feeling it was a boy. But I think it was because I wanted a boy. When I went to that private scan room, I was so nervous. I was honestly scared and so nervous that she was going to say I was having a girl and I wasn't quite sure how I would have reacted. That sounds extremely bad I know. But I know I would have loved the baby exactly the same as I love the baby boy I am carrying now.
When she told me I was a having a boy I was shocked. I was extremely happy and something click that my life was complete. I have my two beautiful and perfect little girls and now their little baby brother on the way who will be joining us in July sometime. It just feels right and I can not wait. It's so exciting.
When the 20 week scan was coming with the NHS I was nervous again. All I kept thinking was what if baby was actually a girl and not a boy? But one of the reasons was because everything I have bought is for a boy. Another reason was, I had already fallen deeply in love with my little boy, how could I move on to love a girl? If that makes sense. But the man who scanned me said he is 100% a boy! Again, we were happy.
So although I would have been happy if we were having a girl, a boy just seems to be the perfect way to finish and complete our family. My girls are the best of friends at times and so over protective of eachother and I just honestly couldn't picture another girl. I could picture a baby boy alongside them and it's just completed my little family.
Did anyone else have a gender preference?
I appreciate that everyone has their own opinions so please do not be offended by what has been said in this post.
Gender disappointment is a real thing. I wanted a girl and I got a daughter. With my second I wanted a boy and she was another girl. I feel ashamed to admit it but I cried on the way home. Not because I didn't want another daughter but more because I would never have a son as she is my last baby.
ReplyDeleteI was a bit scared of being pregnant with a boy this time round as after losing our son at 21 months having another would have made it hard. Would they have looked the same? Was that how he could have been? All we really wanted was a healthy baby though and we have that in Poppy. Thanks for sharing your honest post. #bestandworst
ReplyDeleteI was a bit scared of being pregnant with a boy this time round as after losing our son at 21 months having another would have made it hard. Would they have looked the same? Was that how he could have been? All we really wanted was a healthy baby though and we have that in Poppy. Thanks for sharing your honest post. #bestandworst
ReplyDeleteI also had gender scans with both of mine, I have to admit being a little disappointed when I found I was having a boy 1st time around and I was convinced I was having a boy 2nd time around too! I obviously am extremely blessed to have a boy and a girl now! I think it's perfectly normal to be a little disappointed if you did have a preference. Thanks for linking up #bestandworst
ReplyDeleteI had gender scans early with both of mine. Mostly because I was so nosy I couldn't handle waiting and impatient than with my second I already had a boy so I wanted a girl to have one of each. I was convinced it was a girl the first and a boy the second and I was wrong each time too funny. If I ever have a third I will just think that I am having the opposite. lol Thanks linking up to #ShareWithMe
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