There are many young mums who do decide to choose men, alcohol, going out and the 'free life' after having their baby's but a lot of people need to understand that not all young Mums are like that. I know a few 'older' Mums who are like that. My Mother decided to choose an abusive man over me and my brother. She has chosen drugs, men and other things over her kids. She is now in her 40's and I know a lot more Mums that age who are the same too. So why is it just the young ones who get the bad words and judgement?
Having my first daughter 4 months after my 17th birthday didn't ruin my life. She didn't stop my life. I still managed to get pass my childcare course at college and I still managed to get a job when she was 5 months old. I don't have many friends but I rather a small group of trustworthy friends than a whole gang of friends. I don't get to go out often by myself but when I do, I sure do enjoy it! My baby hasn't stopped my life and she sure well hasn't ruined it either.
My daughter gave me a whole new life to live. I wouldn't of had that nursery job, I wouldn't of met my current partner and that means I wouldn't of had my life that I have now. I do sit down and think sometimes, how would my life be if I didn't fall pregnant at such a young age and I just can not imagine it. I am not ashamed at letting people know that I fell pregnant at 16. Why should I be ashamed? Age is just a number. Although many times I have felt like a complete failure and the worst Mum, I wouldn't change my life for the world.
Have you ever judged a young Mum? If so, why?
Great post, and very true. There would probably be a lot more teenage mums, but choices are made. I've never judged, just always thought how brave they are. Well done on getting your qualifications, childcare will come in Very useful. Childminders do very well in my area. At least you know you can always work with your child being around. It's the perfect choice.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post, it's very insightful xx
ReplyDeleteSuch a great post and I really hate judgmental people and their views on young mums. I had 2 friends at school who both had children at 16 and they were not planned but were very much wanted and to see them now is amazing. One girl was disowned by her parents and kicked out the family home, so she stayed with us for a while and my mum became her surrogate mum and grandma and even now there is a strong bond 16 years later, sadly my friend was never spoken to by her parents and they died before they could make amends, but it taught me a lot about life x
ReplyDeleteI've always found your story inspiring and your eldest is lovely. I don't ever remember judging a teenage mum, not saying I'm perfect, I remember though actually being in awe of them and thought how brave they were to go through the pregnancy, some of them (like you) did it on their own and that to me is (as my daughter would say) - awesome! ;) xx
ReplyDeleteTHis is a great post, I think women/mums need to stop judging each other regardless and just be supportive of each other. Most of us are just trying to parent our children the best we can. Yes there are mum's that probably shouldn't have had kids but for all the others we should just be supportive. #bestandworst
ReplyDeleteI don't think I have ever judged a young Mum as such more worried, would they miss out or struggle (as I know looking back I personally wouldn't have been ready). However, you are proof that it doesn't do that. You managed, you achieved and you have 2 beautiful girls and a little man on the way! Life does usually work out and this needs to be remembered! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x
ReplyDeleteYou definitely shouldn't feel ashamed of it. I believe you should be proud of all your achievements, just like any other mum! :)
ReplyDeletehttp://lilinhaangel.com/
Great post. I think that good and bad mums come in all age groups and I've seen plenty of examples of all of these. You know you are doing a good job - my grandmother used to tell me that what other people think of you is really none of your business.
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up to #sharewithme - would you mind adding a link back or the badge on any posts you link? Many thanksx
Aw well said, I think you are an amazing mum and never let anyone make you feel not worthy because they are not worth a second of your time. My mother was a teenage mum and wasn't fit to be a mother but that has nothing to do with age, its more about her maturity and her lack of maternal nature.
ReplyDeleteIt's not just young mum's. It'sike everyone judges no matter what. I had my eldest at 30 and was told I was "too old" and "selfish". They even called me "geriactric" at the hospital! You can't win.
ReplyDeleteMums are judged in general. It could be that people think you are too old, too clingy, not interested in your kids, there is always something. Sounds as if you have proved them all wrong. That is all that matters.
ReplyDeleteI was a young mum too, I had my eldest when I was 18 and I was a single teenage mum. I too changed my life though and studied for a degree and got a good job so that I could provide for her and now I have met someone else and have two more children and my life is very different. xx
ReplyDeleteI was a young mum and did feel judged and I may not have had the career I wanted at the time, I achieved all that I wanted to through hard work
ReplyDeleteI was not a young mum but my sister was and she did a fantastic job. Sometimes I think there are benefits to being young too, like when your kids grow up. I enjoyed reading your experience. Thanks for sharing. Angela from Daysinbed
ReplyDeleteGreat post, my mummy had me 14 years older than you!! We would say that there is now negative views on women waiting too long to have children xx
ReplyDeleteYou should never be ashamed! You will be a great mum.
ReplyDeleteHaving a child is one of the biggest miracles imaginable, it's something to never be ashamed of. I respect your story and bravery.
ReplyDeleteI think that motherhood is not about age but about being able to love and protect a child. This is such an honest post. Thanks for sharing. #sharewithme
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you're a great Mum and shame is not something you should even think about. Your job is to look after your kids and you look like that's on track.
ReplyDeleteI had my first son 3 weeks before I turned 23 and I love the fact that I had him at a young age, it means we get to spend more time together in life. You should be proud of yourself and ignore anyone who judges you.
ReplyDeleteLooking after a child is the hardest job in the world, and I have the utmost respect for anyone who can stick at it - stereotypes be dammed.
ReplyDeleteGreat post and all so true. Well done for speaking about it. Also sorry to hear about your mum. That must have been awful for you and your brother x
ReplyDeleteHi Beth. I had my first child at just after my 20th birthday. I was judged so much but I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything she's 13 now and we have a great relationship.
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