When I first started blogging back in May 2013, never did I think it'd be my income as well as my hobby. I feel extremely lucky to be able to stay home, do the school runs, being able to go to parents evening and never worry about childcare. However, for the past few months, things have changed a little. I've got a goal that I want to achieve and that goal is to have a reasonable wage each month and I'm not going to be able to do that if I don't have the time to do. I'm slowly giving up with evenings as I just can't concentrate. My desk is currently in the living room and my partner watches tv in the same room. I can't concentrate on writing and reading while the tv is on in the background. I have decided that the back room, our old living room, will be my new office. It's just getting the time to sort it out and pop to IKEA to get a few bits.

During the day I won't pick up my laptop if Freddie is awake. I tend to work the minute Freddie goes down for his nap until he wakes up. He will normally nap for around 2 hours, sometimes a little less and sometimes more towards 3 hours. Very rarely will I get to finish what I wanted to do. It's only been since Freddie turned 10 months old that he started having a nap that lasted an hour. Before that, it was roughly 10-20 minutes - if that. I've struggled really badly with blogging since half way through my pregnancy with Freddie and even worse after he was born. I'm not worrying too much about it but I do want to achieve the goal I have and at the moment I'm struggling to get near it, never mind trying to do all the current work I have at the moment.

Trying to entertain a baby/young toddler constantly through the day, everyday is hard work. It's also exhausting. Freddie is stuck to me and I find it so lovely when he actually goes off to play with his toys. He's starting to become a right terror now too. He climbs absolutely everything and doesn't see any danger. He's such a sweet little boy though. After a few talks with my partner, we decided to see if he will be ok in a nursery once a week. I must admit it took me a good few weeks to get it round my head and actually start searching for one.

After searching I had a few on my list but most I had to cross out due to travelling there. I don't drive and so it was awkward for me to get to most of the places. We only have one local nursery and one local childminder in our village. For personal reasons, I was put off with putting him in the local nursery but after people I know saying good things about it, I thought, "why not?", so I phoned them up. They told me they had no room on a Thursday but had space on a Tuesday. It wasn't ideal as the girls were in after school club on Thursdays and no spaces on a Tuesday to swap their days. After thinking long and hard over the weekend I decided to phone them up and ask for space on Tuesday. They said yes. I arranged to have a look at the nursery the following morning before a final decision. Until I had a phone call 10 minutes later from the manager to say the space has gone on Tuesday. Someone was starting in the next 3 weeks.

So, that was that. It made me think, should I even put him in a nursery?

It will do him good to be around other people and other children. He absolutely loves it when the girls are home and it's probably a boring day when they're in school. If I got my butt into gear and started driving lessons again and pass my driving test, it would really help. There is one nursery that's just outside my village but a pain to go with a bus. There's a pick up service available and so I'm thinking, shall I just go ahead with that - if I like it after the viewing. I'm just in two minds with everything right now. I don't know what to do. I am full of guilt and it's pulling me down - a lot. One minutes I am fine for him to go as it will be good for him and myself. The next minute I say no, he's fine at home. Then yet again, my work is just getting delayed again.

All the joys.


  1. I'm a sahm and I never thought I'd put my kids in nursery as I stay home so why would they need to go? I made the decision to send my boy when he turned two. I just felt it would do him good as he was so clingy to me! I managed to get him in one day a week for 5 hours so 1-6pm but I always pick him at 5:30. The first 3 months were so hard as he hated it and cried every time and I thought omg what have I done! Everybody told me to wait and give it time he will soon love it. It took a good 3 months for him to actually settle in and now he absolutely loves it. He has come on in his confidence and speech so much. I definitely love nursery! It's a big decision for you both. Don't feel guilty at all :) good luck with your decision x

    1. Thank you so much for your comment lovely. I am so nervous. We might just put him in one outside of our village and my partner take him. I know it will be good for him but it's the letting him go part I'm struggling with :'( So hard isn't it.


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