I was in college. Half way through my childcare course. I met someone through college, fell for him, he played me. But I won't go into much detail about that. Roughly 3 months before my course finished, I fell pregnant. I walked to Tesco with my friend to buy a pregnancy test because I was 7 days late of my period, we walked back to my house and I took the test. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I did what you have to do
(pee on a stick!) and looked at the test quickly and couldn't see a line so I kept it flat on the side. I stood up, picked the test up and the line was there.
I was pregnant.
I walked back into my bedroom, looked at my friend and told her as I burst into tears. I was scared. I was petrified. First thing to do was to phone the Dad of the baby. He didn't believe me. He laughed. In the end I think he did believe me because about 1-2 weeks before I took the test, I was feeling ill with stomach cramps. I told him and he had a feeling I was pregnant.
About a week before I found out I was pregnant, I found out that the Dad of the baby started a new relationship. So when I found out I was pregnant, I knew I was going at it alone. He hurt me. He used me. I won't say more.
I told my Dad's partner at the time. I went to my work experience the day after which was in someone's house
{child-minding} and my Dad knocked for me. He had booked an appointment at the Doctors for me. I felt sick. I knew he was disappointed, he told me he was. Doctors confirmed I was pregnant and told me I was roughly 7 weeks and I would need to book an appointment with the midwife. So I did. On our way back home, my dad and I started crying. Like I said above, I was petrified. Of course, he asked what was I going to do with it. I was young but my age didn't change my mind. I was keeping the baby.
That is when it all went wrong. College wasn't much fun in the last 3 months. His friends calling me selfish because I wouldn't go for an abortion. One of them phoning my Mother telling her I am pregnant and again, calling me selfish for not getting rid. I hadn't even told my Mother yet that I was pregnant. If you follow my blog you may have realised I don't have a good or close relationship wit her.
All I had through my pregnancy was stress. The baby's Dad didn't want his girlfriend or anyone else to know he was the Dad. I didn't listen to him. I wasn't making myself out to be some
sl*g. He begged me for an abortion, more than one. Said he would be there for me if I got rid. He would take me there and be there for me. Did it change my mind? No.
My first scan appointment was coming up. I started a small job in a local after school club. I fainted within my first hour. Luckily, my scan was only 2 days after. The hospital told me not to worry too much as it was probably low iron. Babys Dad promised he would be at the first scan. He didn't. My Dad came with me to my first scan. I will never forget how nervous I was. I had no idea what was going to happen. I lied down and they put the cold gel on my stomach. I looked up and my baby was on the screen. I was amazed. I fell in love. I was proud of myself that I did not listen to all those horrible people who told me to abort. I was happy. But still, at the back of my mind I was scared.
At 17 weeks I was sitting in my Dads chair in the living room. I felt an odd movement in my belly. I kept feeling it. It was baby moving. I was so happy.
Baby's Dad even promised he would be at the second scan. He wasn't. He was with his girlfriend instead. I did find it hard that they were together. Not because I wanted him but because he was choosing his girlfriend over his own unborn baby. My Dad came to my second scan again, that is when I found out I was having a baby girl. I was over the moon. My Dad took me to a place called Conwy and bought the baby her first baby grow, with the words 'Welsh Baby/Babi Cymraeg'.
The baby's Dad started denying his own baby. His friends were saying he wasn't the Dad. I argued so much through my pregnancy. I was fed up of being made out like the bad one. If he had only stepped up, grown up and provide for his unborn baby then things would have been a lot calmer and a lot less stressful. He even told me he would smash mine and baby's face in if I didn't stop arguing with his girlfriend. I was 20 weeks pregnant. I felt sick. Why did I still try and get him involved? I knew he wouldn't do such a thing and he was just acting all 'hard' infront of his friend who was driving.
I remember sitting on my bed, holding my bump and crying. I remember talking to myself
{sad I know}. apologizing to baby that I was letting her into this world to a single parent. Promising her that I will try my best to be the best mother ever to her.
Baby's Dad did nothing through the pregnancy. Absolutely nothing. My Dad helped me through the whole 9 months
{and after} of pregnancy. I had Obstetric Cholestasis in the last 10 weeks of my pregnancy. When I was roughly 38 weeks pregnant my own Mother started arguing with me calling me a silly b*tch for not wanting her in the labour room. I wanted my Dad and she was jealous. She doesn't know me properly, I don't know her properly. I don't feel comfortable around her, she has never been there for me so why would I want her there in the same room when I am giving birth? After the amount of stress she put me through, the day after I had my normal appointment at hospital and my blood pressure was extremely high. I had pre-eclampsia. The next morning I was induced.
My Dad phoned the baby's Dad to tell him that I was getting induced. He said he wasn't coming because he had a rugby game. My Dad was my birthing partner. You can read my labour story and my life as a single mother soon.
Being 16 and pregnant was nerve-racking. All my friends were going out like normal and I was home and learning to grow up quickly. I had people judging me. Plenty of stares and names but it's made me who I am today. I have grown up and I honestly wouldn't change it for the world.
